Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
