What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
