just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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