i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize