Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She told me I should be a condom model.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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