that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
