I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
