she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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