do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
