i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
