sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
