my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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