I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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