I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize