You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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