I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
