is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Houston, we have a blender
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
