How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
