i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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