Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
