he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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