Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
