Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We are two peas in an std pod
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
