think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
