I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize