I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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