Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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