I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
