I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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