Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That's how pantless uber rides happen
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
