She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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