I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
