Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
either way he was missing a nipple.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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