I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize