Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
