you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
