You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
