did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
