so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
