Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
