i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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