the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
