She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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