I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Randomize
