she woke up with a sticky ear
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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