i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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