I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize