Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
