It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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