So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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