Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
