Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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