Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
