I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
