So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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