i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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