just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
