hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
