It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
