I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
