while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
