ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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