I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
