Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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