So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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